Why you’ll never live a Soft Life

#thesoftlife is all the rage thanks to the dreamy and lush lifestyle influencers depict on social media. Some time has passed now since #thesoftlife hit the scene and its starting to settle and ground and mean something more holistic; more valuable than staged beautiful photos.

The soft life can be defined as ⬇️

The act of simply living a life with less stress, worry, and concern. Making better decisions that benefit your overall well-being. Not prioritizing fitting in or following trends. Not engaging in drama. Just here living out your divine purpose. Its less about wealth and more about making good choices. Feeling good and loving how you look are valued.

Do you have what it takes to embody this softness or are you guilty of one or more of the following sure ways to never live a soft life?: 

1. You think its about having fancy material things.

Owning a high-end luxury brand bag doesn’t equate to the soft life. Buying and buying things you don’t need which add to the horrific climate crisis is not soft. When we depend on external things for our happiness, well, we’ll always chase an unattainable ‘happy’. There’s not enough luxury goods in the world to make even one person truly happy. Now, I’m not trying to say you must disown all your nice things! But striving, hustling, and sacrificing to buy something because you think your happiness lies there isn’t gentle on your being.

The soft life isn’t just about creating ease for the individual and stopping there. We all desperately need this. In that case, we must take better responsibility for the impact of our decisions. When we decide to buy and trash, buy and trash, we are directly contributing to the climate emergency. And if you have any amount of a conscience, that actually adds to the stress, worry, and concern you’re trying to jettison to embrace softness. 

2. You’re busy as hell and you just won’t slow down

I get it, life is happening, work is happening, the side hustle is happening, the kids are happening all over the place. You’re busy! In the thick of it though, we have choice. We can prioritize according to our values. We fear change though, so we never let go. We are so afraid of the unknown but every future moment is an unknown one. We need an anchor, a practice, a routine to help us trust in slow down. The second chapter of my free e-book, Introduction to Radical Softness, provides resources to do just that.  

3. You believe softness is weakness

Living softly doesn’t mean walking around being meek and turning the other cheek. The soft life, at least the radically soft life, is about being gentle towards yourself. What does that look like? Letting go of negative self talk; prioritizing your physical, energetic, and emotional needs over those of others, taking pauses often to embody your being and the present moment. These are just a few examples.

Cultivating this inner softness provides strength. Being harsh to yourself and draining your energy for reasons that don’t even align with your values weakens you. 

4. You don’t deeply know yourself

An essential part of soft living involves knowing who you are deep down to your core essence. Knowing yourself in this way enables you to breeze past the crap in life that doesn’t even need your energy, time, or effort. When there’s hardships you can’t avoid, returning to self awareness and trusting your connection with intuition help you navigate through. Without this, you suffer through your experiences or avoid them altogether creating a larger and larger split between yourself and your reality. Honey, that ain’t nowhere near soft. Its, in fact, hard as hell.

5. You don’t set intentions or have a routine

You wake up, you check your phone. You spiral into one activity then the next. You find yourself rushing and you don’t even know why or how to stop. Your boss is giving you all toxic vibes today. You’re hungry but haven’t yet bought groceries and you don’t feel like even going to pick up take out. Sound familiar? That’s that routine-less life though.

Setting intention is about giving your day a purposeful direction. Routine is about creating a system that can support your intention for the day. It’s about managing your day so that it doesn’t manage you. Without daily intentions and a routine to support them, that whole soft life idea is out the window. You see, soft living needs a support system. It doesn’t just happen. You can have all the money in the world and it won’t bring a softer life without doing so intentionally.

6. You know what lights you up but you push it to the back of your mind instead of embodying it

The soft life is all about embracing who you are at all levels and giving zero cares about what others think. Embracing who you are is trusting in yourself and betting on yourself. And what we want to do deep in our soul yet have never done, well, it feels scary. It feels unknown. It's not predictable; it's risky. But it's oh so worth doing. Going through that process of facing the unknown and taking the risk to bet on yourself builds serious confidence and a supersized sense of ease because you know you can do, or at least try to do, what your heart desires without the worst imaginable thing happening.

So now what?

Are you ready to ditch the blockages to #thesoftlife? Honestly the biggest takeaway I’ve had with working my way to a softer life is that knowing myself at a soul essence level, it just hits different. My daily life is changed because of it. I accept when a difficult time is happening to me and I pause to come back to myself to figure out what is truly best for me to do (or not do) in the moment. I accept that I find it almost impossible to allow my felt emotions be experienced in the moment, so I let myself experience them, even if I shed a tear in public. I accept and embrace my talents and nourish them and offer them up through my work. That one thing, knowing myself deeply, gave me straight up VIP access to softness and there’s no way in the world I’m turning back!